It's A Huge World

I used to be really aggravated with the people who "lived in their own little world". I couldn't believe that someone could not see outside of their immediate circle. Couldn't understand how someone could NOT realize that their actions went outside of that circle. Affected and effected others. Not just the ones that they saw every day. It ripples. It impacts. Each choice. Each action. Everyone. Every one.

When I was little I used to lay awake and try and wrap my head around infinity. Something with no beginning and no end. I'd cry. Because it wasn't something that I could even remotely comprehend. I know it is something tied into faith and that we aren't supposed to understand. But I wanted to. I needed to understand I thought.

The other day I realized that I had become "one of them." One of those who didn't see beyond my own little world. Me. and those I come in contact with each day. I found myself living in that little circle. A circle of one really. My problems and those of the people around me seemed so big. So large that I couldn't see past them. Couldn't see the bigger picture.

Still can't really. But I'm trying. But it's incomprehensible. I can't wrap my head around it. And I have to remind myself every day to look beyond our ripples and waves. To the choices. To the no beginning and no end.

My brain hurts. But I'm trying.