The day that would never come

I quit keeping track of how many times we've been told we are going to close on this house. Now once again, we are supposed to close tomorrow. But apparently it's real. We did a final walk-through tonight. The realtor even took the key so she could give it to me tomorrow. How funny is that. LOL

I've stalked this house since there was snow on the ground and tomorrow night, I might actually get to walk through the door to a house that is mine. A house I PICKED OUT. A house that I can see having my grandkids come visit in.

I think I may burst.

3:00 may never come

So once again, we are supposed to close tomorrow. I'll believe it when we are sitting there. This has been a disaster. I can't believe what we've been through. I'm surprised the seller is even willing to still sell it to us. Then again, they waited a year, what's another 2 months. TWO MONTHS!! This is nuts.

So cross whatever you've got available to cross. Maybe we'll actually close. Or maybe not.

Awesome weekend, wierd Monday

Got to see Jimmy Saturday! How much better can life get than that. He was at a conference a couple of hours north of us. So we went up to spend time with him during their afternoon break. Now if only it hadn't been so flippin hot. Jim and I tried to fish on the way back but that didn't work out. Lots of heat, little to no bites. Jim did catch his record bass though! It was a little bigger than the minnow. It was hysterical.

I've found that the older my kids get the nicer they are to be around. Who would have thought that during the teenage hellion years. LOL I still count myself lucky though that they didn't make the same mistakes I did. At least they made their own new ones. So apparently we did something right. I used to tell them that it didn't matter what they thought of me then but what they thought of me 10 years from then that mattered. They all seem to like me ok now so I guess we did OK. Either that or they are doing a good job of forgiving. Someone get back to me on that when you figure it out, OK?

So speaking of kids, Amber got her CNA certification this week. I am so friggin proud I could split the seams!! Now she is looking for a position that will utilize her new found skills. Did I mention I'm very proud of her?

Jim's birthday was Friday. Friday and Saturday didn't work out for going out for said birthday so we went out last night. We went to Spaghetti Works. That in and of itself is enought reason to count the day as a good day. Double it with getting to scrapbook all afternoon and life is good.

So thus we get to Monday. It was a Monday. That about sums it up.

But hey, we may get to close on the house this week! That's a plus. Until later....

Live long and prosper.

Today was a Thursday that was really a Monday

Today was a Thursday that was really a Monday. Yes, I know. That makes no sense. But it's all yesterday's fault. I mean, I know July 4th is always on the 4th. duh. But I hate when it falls in the middle of the week. Because then people apparently found themselves thinking that Wednesday was really a Sunday and that it had been a weekend and therefore today was a Monday and they felt it necessary to make their Monday phone calls, which of course meant that they had to call my work and ask not so smart questions. (how's that for a run on sentence?)

So that left today as a Monday. Today was supposed to be Thursday (which is usually a very quiet get things done kind of day). Instead Thursday was a really a Monday.

Get it?

But on a lighter note:

Booked tickets today for a trip to Connecticut/NYC. Never been to either so this should be good. If only it didn't involve a week long training and a trip to the federal prison, it could be downright fun! A day trip to NYC should make it worth it. Now I just have figure out what to do in the Danbury area for most of a day on a Friday in August. That and what to do on a Sunday morning in said same Connecticut town.

Connecticut. What does that mean anyway? Sounds like it is a shortcut from one place to another. Can imagine that you can really call a whole state a shortcut though.

Summer sure is flying by. We've come a long way from the winter but when you consider it's really too late in the season to plant any decent veggies to harvest later that usually means you've hit the downhill slide. Dreaded hot though. Our once swampy yard of 8 weeks ago is now so dry there are huge cracks in it. I measured one yesterday that was 7 inches deep. How sad. Glad I'm not dependent on the ground for my living. Can't imagine that anything is prospering very well.

Ok, i'm rambling yet again. Must be time to quit. Until later...

Be well.

Waiting SUCKS!! but Fireworks are cool.

Ok, so here we are. It's Tuesday. Tuesday the third of July. Why you ask is that an issue? Oh yes, let me tell you. BECAUSE WE WERE SUPPOSED TO CLOSE TODAY! And we have not. :( I am so sad. Apparently FHA is backed up. That and they decided to nit pic something that was there before but now is apparently an issue.

Oh well. As my lovely realtor Kathy reminded me yesterday, it's only a few days and after this it won't matter because I'll be in the house for as long as I want to! Which is good, because packing sucks worse than waiting and this is the last time I'm packing for a VERY long time.

On to brighter things. Today being the third of July which is of course the day before the FOURTH of July, there were fireworks at the stadium tonight. We of course HAD to go watch. Y'all would be proud of me. I didn't try even ONCE to take a picture of them. I did however, find a really cool, very specific article on how to take pictures of fireworks. http://tech.yahoo.com/blogs/null/936 I plan to use the tips tomorrow night and see whether or not it works! Now if only I can figure out where I put the tripod. Pretty sure I haven't packed it yet. LOL

Did I mention I bought a house?

Ok, so maybe not "bought" a house but we are BUYING a house. Should close next week. **jumping up and down really fast** as if I can of course jump up and down. LOL

So this is the house that I have been somewhat obsessed, ok, I admit, completely obsessed with. I think everyone that has come anywhere near me in the last few months has heard about the house. Those close enough to SEE me have SEEN the house. See, I'm obsessed. But the obsessed has paid off and the house is MINE!!!

Anybody want to come to a party?

From myspace to My Space

So as much as I love myspace, some things about it bug me. Including that persons that are not myspacers don't much like the nonusablility of my blog there. So the blog moves here. How cool is that?!

June 3rd comes and goes again

Here is what we did yesterday.
http://helpfindachild.com/inthenews/np_20070604.htm
Thank you to those who attended. Thank you to those who were "with us" but couldn't come. Your thoughts and prayers were felt.

She's all growing up.

Amber graduated from HS today. I am so proud of her.

My Grandma died today

My grandma died today. She led a full life. Alzeheimer's took her mind before her body was ready to be done. So on a positive note: her memories have been restored. That's a really good thing. But then it occurred to me that she now KNOWS everything too. I could be in BIG trouble. :(

Now I just sit here and bawl intermittently. Getting old after five hours of it. My brother was the one to call me. Then he went to the care center to sit with my grandpa. Who is nearly as disoriented as my grandma was. Apparently he isn't very lucid. Mom says he is talking but not making much sense. Honestly, it won't be long before he is gone as well. I think he'll literally die of a broken heart.

I scrapbooked pages from their wedding a few weeks ago. So glad now that I did. But I also know, I didn't do their stories justice.

I'm gonna miss her. The "Oh Carolyn"s. Funny, she could say exactly the same two words but depending upon inflection, they could be so drastically different in meaning. There was the "Oh Carolyn" when I did something she was proud of. The "Oh Carolyn" when I disappointed her. The "Oh Carolyn" said with thanks. The "Oh Carolyn" when I was being beckoned for something. Usually involved peeling something. "Oh Carolyn" that meant I was in BIG trouble. "Oh Carolyn". Can't believe it could mean so much with so little.

I already miss pink applesauce, oatmeal scotchies, trips to the drug store for nothing at all, walking up to the DQ. All the things we lost when she had to give up her independence.

A friend said earlier that this was her way of saying, "Fine. Don't invite me to Amber's graduation. I'll show you." It struck me as odd at the time. But you know what? She's so proud of everything Amber ever has done. And graduations have always been huge for both her and my grandfather. And now, well now she gets to see Amber's. And she'll have the best seat in the house.

Long time no blog aka manic anyone?

Howdy friends! Ok, so anyone that knows me well knows the following:

a) I don't remember to send birthday cards very well, even though I make alot of them and have a perpetual calendar thing. This now apparently includes graduation party invitations, thank you notes, and mother's day cards.
b) I have small OCD problem that gets worse when I have anxiety issues. This includes the anxiety brought about by the unsent birthday cards.
c) I should not be allowed near ANY store when manic. This includes Target, Scrapbook stores, Michael's, Joann's Crafts, Pier One, World Market, and generally any place that sells things I think I want or need. It is apparent now that this should also include the internet and realtors.
d) Good legal drugs are my friend. : )
e) My house is a wreck at the moment but there are pockets of VERY well organized VERY clean.
f) I seriously wish those pockets would multiply because I can only start so many projects at one time. Anybody want to come finish said projects?
g) My life has been consumed by prom, graduation, and related activities! But I don't mind one bit.
h) National Missing Children's Day is May 25th. http://www.take25.org/
I) this autocorrect thing sucks b/c I do NOT want that to be a capital I.
j) My "best friend that says I am her best friend that lives far away" is coming to my HOUSE IN JUNE!!!
k) my sister, and baby E, and my mom are coming then too!

Ok, enough of the letters, that's getting old.

I have become obsessed with this really cool house. Email me, or PM, or message, or whatever and I'll send you a link to it. We got approved today for an FHA loan. Tomorrow we'll hopefully get an accepted offer!! Ok, probably not tomorrow because they suck at getting back to their realtor, but HOPEFULLY!! So maybe my bftsiahbftlfa (see above) and sister and mom will get to be coming to visit me in my new house? Or maybe I should plan to move that weekend so they have to help. Hmmm. **scratches head after light bulb moment**

The little one graduates this weekend. We will NOT discuss the impending empty nest issues today. If you have questions, see b & c above. But we have a ton of people coming this weekend which is super cool!! There are friends & family coming from several states, we are having a HUGE party on Saturday at the state park. Again with the contact me for more info if you didn't get an invite. It's not that we don't love you it's just that…. Well, see item a above.

I am SOO proud of her I could just jump out of my skin! But I haven't yet. Reference item d above.

Ok, have to fly…. I will update when I remember to!

Love to all. Be well and be safe.

Q: What is the bravest thing you have ever done?

That was the question on an online interview that I was just looking at. What is the bravest thing you have ever done?]

Q: What is the bravest thing you have ever done?

A: I got out of the bed the day after my daughter was abducted. The actual action of getting out of bed that morning may not seem all that brave now as I sit here 5 and a half years later, but at the time it was a world record type accomplishment for me. Because spending another 24 hours not knowing where Erin was or if she was Ok or not or who had taken her or what they were doing to her or any of the other 10000 things I was thinking of in that split second after awakening was the scariest thing I have ever faced in my life. And it took every bit of "brave" I could muster.

And every day I have to pretend to be brave and do it again and again. :(

What's the bravest thing you have ever done?

Hope Story!

My cell phone rang at 4:41 last Friday afternoon. Not an unusual occurrence by any means, but this call was different. On the other end was my friend Christine. Christine lives in St Louis. "They're doing a breaking news story on the news here. They found Ben Ownby, Carolyn. He's alive. And you won't believe this; they found him with Shawn Hornbeck." I can't tell you what I said next. I honestly don't remember. I'm sure I said something to her.

After hanging up with her I'm not sure I believed her. Not that I think she was lying or anything like that. I just needed to see for myself. After logging onto the website for the Fox Station in St Louis, I found a live feed to their news; the news that was showing a story that I was amazed to be watching. And I think it was more than an hour before I moved from that spot again.

Tears. Tears of happiness started. I was so happy for these families. They had a happy ending. Had it been just Ben found after less than a week, I'd have been happy. But FOUND Shawn Hornbeck? He's been missing four and half years! I remember reading the story on the news after our own case was about a year old. A brief conversation with Shawn's mom when they were in the middle of the ground search to find him; hearing the pain in her voice that I had come to know so well. Letting her go so quickly because I knew she needed to be "doing," "looking," not talking to me on the phone. And now this family had resolution. And not the horrific resolution so many families have. SHAWN IS ALIVE!!

Tears. Tears of sadness came. So sad that wasn't us. Wasn't our family having this miracle. But it can still be, can't it?

Christine said it best during our phone call Friday afternoon when she called to tell me the breaking news. "Here is your hope story, Carolyn. Erin will still come home too." This is my hope story. Erin can still come home safely. Our family can still be whole again.

Other families can still be whole again. This breaking in all of our hearts can start to heal again. I need to tell them too! Tell them of this miracle story in Missouri. So I started calling them. Can't say who I called first. Not even sure I remember who all I called.

I called Kelly Jolkowski. "Kelly, you won't believe this story!" Jason can come home too. www.projectjason.com

I called Jannel Rap. www.411gina.org "Jannel, are you sitting down? They found Ben Ownsby. They found Shawn Hornbeck. They found them together! They are both alive. They are alive Jannel!"

I called my friend Gay in Houston. I know their organization has been offering assistance to the Hornbecks over the years. www.lrcf.org Poor Bob. Gay wasn't home and I practically screamed in the phone at him trying to tell him. I talked myself in a full circle, but I told him! He probably thinks I'm completely insane. I'm not so sure I'm not.

Pretty sure I called my mom. And at least one or two other people. So if your phone rang early evening on Friday and some crazy person on the other end was saying intangibles about kids and bikes and sex offenders and St Louis and tears and you had no idea what was going on? Yeah that was me. Sorry about that.

But it was me who had found my hope again.

Hope Story

My cell phone rang at 4:41 last Friday afternoon. Not an unusual occurrence by any means, but this call was different. On the other end was my friend Christine. Christine lives in St Louis. "They're doing a breaking news story on the news here. They found Ben Ownby, Carolyn. He's alive. And you won't believe this; they found him with Shawn Hornbeck." I can't tell you what I said next. I honestly don't remember. I'm sure I said something to her.

After hanging up with her I'm not sure I believed her. Not that I think she was lying or anything like that. I just needed to see for myself. After logging onto the website for the Fox Station in St Louis, I found a live feed to their news; the news that was showing a story that I was amazed to be watching. And I think it was more than an hour before I moved from that spot again.

Tears. Tears of happiness started. I was so happy for these families. They had a happy ending. Had it been just Ben found after less than a week, I'd have been happy. But FOUND Shawn Hornbeck? He's been missing four and half years! I remember reading the story on the news after our own case was about a year old. A brief conversation with Shawn's mom when they were in the middle of the ground search to find him; hearing the pain in her voice that I had come to know so well. Letting her go so quickly because I knew she needed to be "doing," "looking," not talking to me on the phone. And now this family had resolution. And not the horrific resolution so many families have. SHAWN IS ALIVE!!

Tears. Tears of sadness came. So sad that wasn't us. Wasn't our family having this miracle. But it can still be, can't it?

Christine said it best during our phone call Friday afternoon when she called to tell me the breaking news. "Here is your hope story, Carolyn. Erin will still come home too." This is my hope story. Erin can still come home safely. Our family can still be whole again.

Other families can still be whole again. This breaking in all of our hearts can start to heal again. I need to tell them too! Tell them of this miracle story in Missouri. So I started calling them. Can't say who I called first. Not even sure I remember who all I called.

I called Kelly Jolkowski. "Kelly, you won't believe this story!" Jason can come home too. www.projectjason.com

I called Jannel Rap. www.411gina.org "Jannel, are you sitting down? They found Ben Ownsby. They found Shawn Hornbeck. They found them together! They are both alive. They are alive Jannel!"

I called my friend Gay in Houston. I know their organization has been offering assistance to the Hornbecks over the years. www.lrcf.org Poor Bob. Gay wasn't home and I practically screamed in the phone at him trying to tell him. I talked myself in a full circle, but I told him! He probably thinks I'm completely insane. I'm not so sure I'm not.

Pretty sure I called my mom. And at least one or two other people. So if your phone rang early evening on Friday and some crazy person on the other end was saying intangibles about kids and bikes and sex offenders and St Louis and tears and you had no idea what was going on? Yeah that was me. Sorry about that.

But it was me who had found my hope again.

How can something imaginary still hurt?

"Most of all thank you for being TRUE friends. It means more than you know..... and thanks for reading my ramble. I just needed you all to know how much you mean in my life. You are all the best!!"

Two years sure changes alot. I really meant it when I wrote it. Now I can't believe I ever even wrote that.

Now here I sit with a knife in my back. Funny, how can an imaginary person yield such a REAL knife? Ok, not so funny.

If you REALLY know me, you know I'd NEVER say something behind your back I wouldn't say to your face. And me in my apparently naive mind figured that others would do the same.

?? what are you thinking? People with no respect for you, who backstab you, obviously don't like you as much as a friend would. this life is too short for continous mishaps and betrayals by "friends" and there's a world full of people out there. You deserve better maybe?

Yeah, that's it. I deserve better. So all you "friends"?? Yeah, just remove yourself, because honestly, I don't have the energy and while I was GOING to do it myself, everyone I started to remove was just one more TURN of the knife. So here.......

have your knife back.

Ghosts of Christmas past

Ok, I need to do this for myself. The holidays have this REALLY odd place in my life anymore. Without Erin, it's been a chore to put together anything that resembles joy and fa la la-ing. But I realized that this has been growth and process. So, if you feel so inclined, follow along. But this is for me really. But also know that the process isn't a happy one as much as it's pretty sad actually. You see, that's where we seem to be stuck at. Sad. profoundly sad sometimes. No matter how angry I am the rest of the year... sadness is really what hits me this time of year.

So if you are very HO HO HO-ing.... I'd avoid this blog series until after New Year's. Cause I doubt that fa la la and ho ho ho will be included. I'd rather see y'all be happy and celebratory. But for me... I'm putting these all in one place. So they don't disappear from "other" places.

In 2001 I was sure that I wouldn't need to worry about not dealing with the holidays. I was still holding out that we'd wake up Christmas morning and find Erin herself sitting under the tree. I was CONVINCED that she was going to just pop right in while we were opening presents and the silly girl was going to say this was all a ruse to get that stereo system I kept telling her she couldn't have. So we made a couple dozen cookies, wrapped presents, fully decorated the house and the tree, cooked the dinner and all that tradition and homey hearthy stuff. Christmas morning came and went and Erin didn't come through the door. New Year's eve, surely she'd show. Obviously, she wasn't. And thus ended the last Christmas that.. well... I don't know what it ended. But it began something....

So in 2002 on Christmas Eve I wrote her a letter.

Erin,Today is 1 year and 204 days since I saw you last. Tomorrow will be our 2nd Christmas without you. Every day is hard but the holidays, Christmas and New Year's especially, seem to be the hardest. Got out the stockings this morning. Amber and I got into an argument because I won't let her use yours. And somehow it is the only one that seems to have survived the move. Almost as if your Pooh was supposed to be our only stocking this year.

I am finding it even harder to do Christmas without you this year. Not that last year was easy. Last year we were just convinced that if you had run away that the holidays would definitely bring you home. I think that your persistence to uphold traditions is making memories harder to get away from this year. The joy in your eyes from the first Christmas light display of the holiday season, the care you always took to look your "very best" on Christmas Eve at Grandma & Grandpa's house. Watching you take what seemed like forever to pick out Christmas presents for your brothers and sister. Laughing while we tried to figure out "exactly what we messed up" on that batch of cookies. The look on your face when you and your brother dragged home the "bargain" Christmas tree from the lot up the street, because you said the house didn't "smell right with a fake one". Calling the lady at the flower shop to find out exactly what kind of a tale you guys told her to get a live 6 ft tree for $3 anyway. The joy in my heart when she told me what wonderful children I had. Finding out that you actually gave her $15 but you had bought a tree for the neighbors who didn't have one at all. Knowing that their 50% off trees were $12. Imagine the look on that Mom's face when her kids dragged the tree in their front door! Watching that really bad remake of the Rudolph cartoon "just one more time." Knowing that you would be the last one to sleep on Christmas Eve. Trying to convince you that if you don't go to sleep soon, Santa will never skip our house all together. The "But, Mom…" when I told you that 5 am is too early to wake up your brothers, even if there are presents to open. Telling you that you could have the contents of your stocking but only if you took it back to bed with you. Doing this all over again at 6 am. Taking you for a walk at 6:30 so that we could look for "reindeer tracks". (And trying to buy another hour for your brothers.) Following a trail of pine needles in the snow up to First Avenue. Gee, wonder how those got there.After Christmas Bargains. "Cause we can use it next year!" Even though I know we'll look at it next year and try and figure out what we saw in it in the first place.

Planning "Erin's Huge New Year's Eve". No, you can't have a 50-person guest list. No, the glitter confetti is out of the question. There is still glitter in the rug from 4 years ago. Going to 4 stores before we found exactly the right brand of sparkling grape juice. Going over cookbooks trying to find that "one recipe for those Chinese looking things you eat with your fingers." Calling Grandma because we never can find the recipe. And because she knew what you were talking about right away!

I love you Erin. I want you to know that you are in my heart every day. Wherever you are, I send you my love. May the same angels that rejoiced at Jesus' manger birth, protect you today. Praise God for giving us His Son. Praise God for giving me you.Peace, Love, and Angels,

Christmas 2003 I tried to hibernate.

I posted a prayer request on another site:

"I am not sure if I can face the holidays again. I thought I had prepared myself enough this year. I thought I was going to be OK. Now I am not sure.I can't bring myself to go get a single Christmas present since the day after Thanksgiving when my friend forced me out at 5 am. I haven't baked a single cookie. I haven't unpacked even one decoration. I know if I don't get a tree soon we'll end up with another foot tall potted one from Target because that is all that will be left. At least that is what we had last year as a last ditch effort to give my kids something.

Can I just hibernate and wake up sometime in January?

I know that I am just whining and that you guys get the brunt of everything when I get this way. I am sorry. You may be imaginary friends, but you are about the only ones that I can tell all of this to anymore. Heaven forbid anyone in my "real life" would ever stumble across all of these posts over the last few years. They would probably have me committed.Just pray for us OK? I know you already do quite often. But I know that without a whole army of angels that I am going to fall apart. Please send angels.

Thanks. Carolyn

Note to self: delete this later when you feel better."

Well, I obviously never felt better because I never deleted it. Christmas 2003 came and went.

Christmas 2004

And 2004 brought the holiday glow:
That holiday glow? It's really me setting fire to the whole dang lot of it
--> --> --> -->
Go Beyond Scrooge and his "Bah humbug"Turn right past the Grinch and the stolen WhoBeastGo about another 1/2 mile down the road and turn rightAt the road kill left behind from the Grandma and the Reindeer collisionSee that little glow off in the distance...That holiday glow? It's really me setting fire to the whole dang lot of it.

I have had enough.What started out as pure avoidance and WAY too many extra hours at work last week (and last weekend and so far this week) has now turned into this really awful monster that is teetering somewhere animosity and flat out anger.

I don't want to ho ho ho.

If one more poor unsuspecting soul asks me if I'm "ready for Christmas?" I'll probably be taken away in handcuffs. "Plans for the holidays?" Yep. I plan to get through them in one piece without choking the bejeezes out of you for asking, being committed to the locked ward at the local psych hospital, and/or being referred to as "that crazy woman who ran down the street screaming that one year. Do you remember her? she was wearing shorts, a sweatshirt, and those funny red slippers and then wrapped herself in icicle lights and kept yelling something about it snowing in her house and a Winnie the Pooh stocking."Urban legend? No. Tormented soul.

Decorations? I have a TON!! Two totes worth are in my living room between the couch and bookcase. Don't think they've moved more than vacuuming required since I packed them up 2 years ago. There is at least 2 or 3 more totes in the closet. 95% sure that they are. I know I moved them here with us in 2002. A few of them saw the daylight that year. I distinctly remember the "only stocking we could find" incident. I also distinctly remember packing most of them right back up.Baking? I bought Nestle chips, real sugar, and all purpose flour. I think I even got evaporated milk for the preverbial fudge making. What do you mean the cookies won't make themselves? I spent nearly $50 at the store. For that they better darn well jump in that oven on their own. Nutmeg, allspice, ginger, and cinnamon are the makings of magic pixie dust aren't they?

Presents. Probably shouldn't delve into that arena. Let's just suffice it to say that if it didn't come from the craft show, the benefit auction, OldNavy.com, or just happens to be in my closet - they aren't gonna get it. Cause there is only so much WalMart this woman can take at this time of year. I mean... HELLO people, did the elves take away the part of your brain that manuevers in parking lots and steers shopping carts? And yes, that is my cart sitting there by the door. I tried. I can't do it. I'm going home.The holidays aren't about stuff. ummm. yeah. I know that.

Traditions? Can't bear to face them. Family? Don't need the drama on hubby's side. And my side, well chaos seems pretty happy there too. Create new Family Traditions. ummm. yeah. I think we have done that. The tradition of avoidance and lighting fires to the whole lot of it.

My poor Amber. She's got it the worst. What should be joyful memories of holidays growing up are now overshadowed by this cynical old woman that used to be her cookie baking, present wrapping, carol singing, house decorating, holiday toy driving, ho ho hoing Mom. Now I remember why we shipped her off to friend's and distant family for Christmas break. Should probably figure out how to do that for her again this year.

And no, I do not want anyone to feel sorry for me. Y'all know me better than that. And if you do, then just remember....I'm not the only one that feels this way.I'm just more vocal. (or well written)

So when you get your Holiday card sometime around Valentine's day, consider yourself lucky. I addressed them two years ago. Be glad they got mailed at all.

Christmas 2005 was a definate "deck this" year and I just stayed perpetually angry. It seemed easier somehow. Didn't do any good. Christmas still came and went. Christmas day itself wasn't so bad. We ended up spending it in Cedar Rapids for the first time since 2001. Still not sure if that was good or bad, but we made a point to do NOTHING the way we ever had or even close to "tradition". That proved to be a good decision.

Christmas 2006

Now if I could just remember what we did that DID work.

Because right now, I can't remember exactly. In fact, I dont remember much. I think I need an spiked egg-nog. Skip the egg-nog part.I'll have to update you on the rest tomorrow.