Saturday, May 19, 2007

My Grandma died today

My grandma died today. She led a full life. Alzeheimer's took her mind before her body was ready to be done. So on a positive note: her memories have been restored. That's a really good thing. But then it occurred to me that she now KNOWS everything too. I could be in BIG trouble. :(

Now I just sit here and bawl intermittently. Getting old after five hours of it. My brother was the one to call me. Then he went to the care center to sit with my grandpa. Who is nearly as disoriented as my grandma was. Apparently he isn't very lucid. Mom says he is talking but not making much sense. Honestly, it won't be long before he is gone as well. I think he'll literally die of a broken heart.

I scrapbooked pages from their wedding a few weeks ago. So glad now that I did. But I also know, I didn't do their stories justice.

I'm gonna miss her. The "Oh Carolyn"s. Funny, she could say exactly the same two words but depending upon inflection, they could be so drastically different in meaning. There was the "Oh Carolyn" when I did something she was proud of. The "Oh Carolyn" when I disappointed her. The "Oh Carolyn" said with thanks. The "Oh Carolyn" when I was being beckoned for something. Usually involved peeling something. "Oh Carolyn" that meant I was in BIG trouble. "Oh Carolyn". Can't believe it could mean so much with so little.

I already miss pink applesauce, oatmeal scotchies, trips to the drug store for nothing at all, walking up to the DQ. All the things we lost when she had to give up her independence.

A friend said earlier that this was her way of saying, "Fine. Don't invite me to Amber's graduation. I'll show you." It struck me as odd at the time. But you know what? She's so proud of everything Amber ever has done. And graduations have always been huge for both her and my grandfather. And now, well now she gets to see Amber's. And she'll have the best seat in the house.

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